Realisation

Sometimes a shock to the system is what it takes to help you make an important decesion.
Last week I had a dreadful time. I was kidding myself that it was going to get better. I was convinced that this was the way it had to be.
But I have had my eyes opened.
I do have a choice.
And so now, I am in Manchester, England with Ste.
It's amazing how fast things happened.
But I feel as like as a feather, like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I finally feel like I can breathe again.
I didn't even realise I was holding my breath! I guess I was playing along, pretending to be happy because I didn't think it could be anyway.
I am talking about my marriage.
I made a huge choice yesterday, and I do not regret a moment of it.
I am ready to begin a new life in Manchester, and I am very exicted.
To me, this all came out of the blue. Ste was always such a good friend to me when I needed him. And then when he was leaving, it struck me like a smack to the face - I couldn't live without him. I relied on him so much more than I realised.
And so here we are, finding our feet in England. Ste comes from Manchester originally, so to him this is coming home. To me this is a chance for a new beginning that I didn't think I was ever going to have.